


Secrets

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Frottage, M/M, Masturbation, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-25
Updated: 2013-02-25
Packaged: 2017-12-03 13:12:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tonight I hold you in my arms, not for the reason I want the most, but because you need me here. It’s always been one of your best kept secrets, but you’ve been fairly sickly for most of your life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eilonwe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eilonwe/gifts).



> for eilonwe2. Looking for fluff, comfort and steamy, hot (unexpected) sex, any pairing.  
> Beta Readers: gothic_hime  
> Song[s]: "Shouten" by Hakuei

Tonight I hold you in my arms, not for the reason I want the most, but because you need me here. It’s always been one of your best kept secrets, but you’ve been fairly sickly for most of your life. You tell the public it’s because of an eating disorder or because you drink too much. But the truth of the matter is, it’s something a hell of a lot more than that. I’ve been here with you through the thick and the thin of it, right at your side even as your own family and your past lovers wouldn’t keep helping.

Tonight hasn’t been as bad as it could have been. We sat in the bathroom for a few hours, your stomach rolling and waves of dizziness washing over you. And I sat behind you; braiding your hair back so it wouldn’t get in the way, offering cool washcloths, and helping you clean up your mess each time. You’ve always been grateful for my help and tonight was no exception, quiet words of thanks whispered in between bouts as you tried your best to deal with it all.

Eventually, things shaped up and you fell asleep, slumped over the toilet bowl. I cleaned you up and carried you into the bedroom all by myself. You’d best be grateful when you wake up… it’s been a long, hard road doing things like this. But that’s just it, I know you’ll be the most incredibly grateful person ever known to mankind once you wake up.

The hours slip past as we lie here, my arms tight around you, your lean form pressed against me, your body seeking the warmth in the dead of the night. When you do wake, it’s only a few hours after you passed out. And when you stretch out, you press yourself fully against me. I can’t stop the gasp that slips free of my lips, your arousal pushing against my thigh. You let out this tiny grunt, pressing harder against me for a moment, and then hooking one leg over mine as you start to grind, little gasping moans sounding into the air.

It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever had happen to me and in that moment, I know I’m completely and hopelessly doomed. You’re not even awake enough to know it’s me. Surely you’ll freak out on me once you open your eyes, once you see who you’re grinding up against. All the same, I can’t help but indulge myself. You started this… and what if it’s just a test to see if I’ll respond? What if you really do want me and I push you away? 

I slide my hand over your hip, cupping your ass gently as I push back against you. All your friction has gotten me hard as well and as I rub myself against you, I grow steadily more and more aroused. I slide my other hand up into your hair and clasp it between my fingers, shifting my body down enough so that when you meet my little thrusts, it’s actually your cock that’s pressing against my own.

The difference is immediate and utterly more amazing than what we were doing before. Your muscles strain and you groan as you push me closer to being on my back. Your face is tucked against my shoulder and I can’t tell if you’re awake or not, though I have a suspicion that you’re fully roused now that you’re taking control of the situation like this. Your hand fists in my shirt, your hips working more frantically against my own. It’s like heaven is enveloping me and I don’t argue with a thing about it, just hanging on for the ride.

For well into fifteen minutes, you rut against me, some primal urge driving you and I to continue with this despite it not going anywhere more significant than this. When you still, I wonder if you’ve finished, some part of me imagining your cock filling your jeans with your warm cum, envisioning the stain as it spreads across the front of your pants. I let out a groan, my own cock twitching. I’m done for. I only need a little more and I’ll topple over the edge. The revelation comes to me and I gasp with the solidity of it. I _need_ you.

I roll us gently onto our sides again, reaching down and quickly unfastening my pants, freeing my cock from the confines of my jeans. It’s so much better like this. I flex my dick a few times, enjoying the freedom of being exposed right beside you. My mind still can’t quite wrap around it. I’m in the bed next to you – the man I’ve desired for so very long – and you’re just as aroused as I am. I slide my hand over my shaft, starting to jerk myself off at a rather frantic pace. Flashes back to the past few minutes entertain me. _Your cock pressing hard against your jeans, pressing against my thigh. Your body moving over my own, your desire so overwhelming that you couldn’t help but try to fuck against me._

Your hand closes over my own and I stop instantly, feeling like a deer caught in the oncoming headlights of a truck. You let out a tiny chuckle, pushing my hand out of the way, your own starting to stroke me. I gasp, my fingers closing over your wrist as you pleasure me. It’s amazing in every single way. I shudder slightly under your touch, closing my eyes as you jerk me off. I’m so close, so very close. And I want this like nothing else in the world right now, but I also want to know you’re actually aware of what you’re doing… of _who_ you’re doing. My fingers tighten on your wrist and I finally whisper out, “Die…”

“Hush, Kaoru.” You lightly nuzzle my collarbone, nipping at it as you pull your hand away for a moment, the bed shifting a little as you open your own pants. You push material out of the way and then you’re pressed against me, your arms wrapped tightly around my body as your cock slides over my own. You let out a pleased groan, just bucking your hips in the sort of manner that tells me you haven’t cum yet, but you’re still dangerously close.

My hand closes over your ass again, tugging you closer, my own hips pushing us together again and again. I’m elated beyond belief. You know it’s me and you’re doing this on purpose. You actually want me. I strain toward you, my hips thrusting frantically, my cock sliding the length of yours each time I move. It feels so fucking good. My mind hazes slightly and I know I’m going to cum. My balls are so tight, my muscles straining as I push past the desire to tense up completely, my movements jerky in these final seconds. Your hand slips into my pants and grasps my ass, squeezing as you groan out your pleasure to me. And that’s all it takes. I’m spurting all over your cock, drenching you in my fluids as you continue to thrust against me.

Your hand slides down between us and you take both of us in hand, jerking quickly, frantically. You hiss out my name as you tense, your hand giving a few final strokes. I can feel you pulsing against my cock, the warmth of your cum sliding down my shaft as you share yourself with me.

It’s a few moments before you let go, simply wiping your hand on your sheets and settling down again, our legs still entwined, our pants still open. For the longest time, neither of us says a word. But finally it’s you who speaks up. “Stop worrying… I’m well aware it’s you and I have no regrets.”

I let out a soft laugh, releasing the tension that has been building up inside me and close my eyes once more. “Hnn… any time you want to…” I leave it open ended, knowing you’ll get my point.

You let out the most adorable sounding laugh as you tug the covers back up around our shoulders. “I’ll remember that. But… for now… sleep.” You yawn and I smile at your outline in the darkened room. This… this is bliss.

**The End**


End file.
